Monday, October 31, 2005

The trailer told the whole story already!

Was asked to watch Cinderella Man not long ago. (actually almost a week already but I got nothing new to write about mah)
I replied: No, thank you. I've seen it during high school.
And then I couldn't help snickering, leaving my friend with a conversation baloon that said: SML*?
Well, I mentioned I'm from a private Chinese high school right? However, we were still given the choice to sit for the government exam called SPM. If you chose to take this SPerM exam, you have to attend an additional tuition class, which is taught by random teachers from dunno God knows where.
Our English teacher's name is Cinderella.
She's Indian. Her voice sounded like as if she drank wasabi + hot water before coming to class. And she's got a beard.
Yes. She's got a beard, and a moustache. If you're still going 'hah?' I'M TALKING ABOUT MISAI LAH!
Of course, her beard's not as thick as the barbers you find in Jalan Taiping, but still, you can see her 5 o'clock shadow.
I'm alright talking about this now. But five years ago, for a 16 year old Chinese high school boy, that was damn freaky ok?
No, don't 'assume' I'm 'assuming' she has a beard. Because, we could see her effort of shaving them off. She put talcum powder over her shaved neck. YES! NECK! And by 8pm (night class la) you could see those tiny little ants starting to grow out of her face.
Tuition is like horror movie marathon. I'd twitch whenever she gave me a pat in the back. (good in English subject, what to do?)
Eventually, we felt sorry for her. We started thinking: what if she's actually not a transvestite. (sHe-man) Although until today I still believe she is, I'd still feel sad for her if she's actually a 'she'.
Imagine yourself with such a name. Cin-de-rey-lah! With all the hopes of living happily ever after, dancing with prince charming and pretend to lose your shoe and all that.
God has to give you facial hair.
It's as bad as having names like Ong Ying Jun (Handsome Ong) or Tan Bee Lee (Beautiful Tan). I appreciate the parents' effort. But even if the children ARE good looking, the names would turn me off. Their friends'd still laugh about it everyday.
'Gahahahah! Your name is Beautiful! Beautiful! Gyyahahaya! 苏永康! Good name! Heeheeheheheheheee!'
And they'd change it to Fanny or Ah Dick or Titan or Kenzo whatever, which are equally drop dead funny for the angmo's.

*SML: Si Mi Lan. Equivalent to WTF?

Update: Yes, I just realised how amusing it is for you to see a guy with the name of a University laughing at other people's names. Ei, At least my name's any time better than Fanny ok? Shut up. I didn't choose my name. You don't understand my feelings at all~! (dash towards door)