Saturday, January 07, 2006

Uncle (ouch) stop rubbing my (ouch) tummy

My dad was drunk yesterday.
It's nothing new, but at least he didn't molest me with more 'do you have a girlfriend in Japan' kind of questions.
He was high because his classmate from La Trobe University came to visit. So that's roughly 30 years of friendship?
His friend lost his right arm in a drunken pirate fight(cancer), so he had this hook thing, which looked pretty cool.
We were having dinner and they were pretty pissed lah. So for the first time, sort of, they were talking about their uni lives.
My dad used to work part time in a morgue and mental institution, taking care of the patients and all. That fucked me up.
No wonder he could raise me while staying sane. Well, almost.
And maybe all the exposure screwed his mind up, and my mind got fucked up in the process of gene tranfer.
And you know how I always tell people my dad's really good at table tennis? That he used to be champion and all?
Well, I was bullshitting. First of all, I can impress my friends with my dad. Secondly, how the hell would you know if I'm lying?
And then my father's friend turned to me and asked: Do you know that your father used to be the University Champion?

Noodles came out from my nose.

It's one of those 'Hmm, maybe I'm God and the whole world just turns into what I want them to be' kind of moment.
It's true, I just realised his 2-inch trophy's always in the living room, right behind my 3 feet trophy. No wonder can't see.
It's amusing at this stage to see how your drunken father behaves. They say the darnest things. Like, 'your mom's trying to hit on that rich guy, but it's ok his wife also not bad'. FOR EXAMPLE LAH! Never said my father said that what.
Mr. Hook also KO'ed. Towards the end he kept hugging me and say: Look at him! He's a teddy bear!
Ok, so maybe he wasn't that drunk.