Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Her neck looked like an oak vagina

Sharon Stone appeared on Letterman.
I always thought she was this cool, elegant, beautiful woman since I've watched Basic Instinct. You know, the perfect white girl.
Ok fine, the perfect NAKED white girl.
But then, just now on the show, she's just... a grandma. No, seriously, a witch-laughing, dumb and wrinkled old hag.
It's like she's completely drunk. She's just giggling in a schizo kind of way and missed what David was trying to say constantly.
Parky and I were really annoyed.
She's like 40+ and she's going to appear naked on screen. There should be a law against that! I don't care if she's hot!
She's still someone's mother.

Like how Chris Rock said: '40 year old breasts are your man's breasts; 20 year old, community breasts!' And she did have community breasts, but that was 12 years ago.
I'm sure the breasts are screaming: 'Oh Lord what are we doing here?! I thought we're retired!' on sceen.

And then she started talking about her 6 year old and 10 month old boys. How they wrestle each other etc.
I was just thinking, what are they going to think when they find out their mom was naked in a movie 20 years ago?
You think they'll watch the movie? I mean, of course they'll watch it. But isn't that kinda fucked? Seriously?
'Hey mom! You're on TV! Wait.. why are you spreading your legs mommy? That's not dad! What is this mommy?!'
How would you feel if half of the grown up men you know have seen your mom naked on screen?
I'm so sure her sons will be arrested for drug smuggling in Indonesia pretty soon. And blame Basic Instinct on it.
'It's not our fault! It's the fucking DVD! Roberto showed us the DVD! The DVD made us do it! We're innocent!'