Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Baboo. Baboo, baboo, baboo...

Last week, under some reasons I could not remember, I was discussing the issue of breasts with a girl.
We were talking about how flat chests are getting fashionable. How Hollywood is paying more attention to the women with less appealing figures. You know, Paris Hilton, Mischa "that girl from OC", Keira Knightley etc.
My conclusion: If your breasts are small, they must be real.
Seriously, you can't go through a breast transplant and come out with a 32A. Either your surgeon's ripping you off, or he'd done the best he could, which is sad as well.
Yea, so that's why you get guys having the hots for the ironing boards in Hollywood. Because it's good to know that there're some real breasts out there. It's like a reality show thing.
Thus my friend asked me another question: Would men actually mind whether the breasts are fake or not?
Again, my answer: We can't do anything about it.
Seriously, if you were to have a breast transplant, would you actually go around telling people 'hey these aren't real, oh gosh feel them now!', especially to your date?
Of course not. So the only time the guy get to clarify the authenticity of your bossums, is when you guys get it on.
That's after exchanging phone numbers. After 2 weeks of courtship. After a $90 concert. After a $200 dinner. After a $40 flower. After exchanging salivas and whipping out his belt like Indiana Jones and pushing him down while handcuffing yourself.
Then you take off your wonderbra or the new Air-pump silver bra, or the pads underneath the bra. Maybe you reveal the scar under the areola. Or you tell him 'I just finished renovating them'.
And you see this pathetic, red faced, vein popping, panting, sweating, drooling piece of art by God, kneeling in front of you.
"I'm sorry, but I have a thing against fake titties" would probably be the absolute last thing this creature could utter.
So I guess my conclusion is that, no, men doesn't give a shit if they're fake or not. They're just happy to get breasts.
And even if they do, you wouldn't possibly know. He's totally spent too much effort getting to them.