Friday, May 26, 2006

Hitler'd have agreed

Ok, I found this from one of the bulletin boards on my friendster thing, which I check like once every full moon.
Title: 31 ways to make a girl smile.
I'm not gonna waste your time stating all 31 ways, but I have to say it's complete rubbish and parallel to the logical world. If people think I'm sexist, wait till they get a load of this:

3. Hug her from behind. (when I read this then I realised they meant 'ways to make your GIRLFRIEND smile.' Because, the last time I did that to a random girl, I spent a week in the hospital recovering from the pepper spary.)
5. Wrestle with her. (and break her neck?)
10. Play with her hair. (HOW?? use it to mop the floor? clean my bike? chew on it? Slice carrot with her armpit hair? What?)
12. Get upset when another guy touches her and she doesn't like it. (Er, so we should not get upset when she likes getting touched by the guy? WTF? Should she 'like it' to start with?!)
15. If she's mad at you, kiss her. (and fucking lose your tongue?)

19. Look her in the eyes and smile. (as opposed to looking her in the breast? I mean, it'd be creepy anyway to stare elsewhere and smile: I like your earlobes, hehe...)
And 27. My favourite: Give her what she wants.
That's so insightful. Give. Her. What. She. Wants. Whooa.
Unless you've lost your lower jaw in the war, who in the world will NOT be smiling when you're given what you want?

Was Aladdin sad when he found the genie in the lamp? Did cinderella complain when she met the fairy godmother?
No, they were fucking laughing their heads off singing Prince Ali and whatever song cinderella was singing.
This whole list is propaganda.
I was feeling indifferent until I saw 'give her what she wants'. It's bullshit. It an insult to women themselves.
You want to know how to make a man smile? Give him 1. sex 2. food 3. money. There, easy isn't it?'

No, actually, we want world peace. That will make all of us happy. Seriously. That's all we need to smile. World peace.