Monday, February 27, 2006

Snake beans so expensive!


Hey at least it's green ok?

Auntie moment #34. When I yelled in front of the cashier in safeway: ' Shit, 100g of snake beans cost $4.95?!'
Yup, this blog sure is getting more 'brokeback mountain' if you know what I mean. Wink wink, nudge nudge.
If you're still wondering, I cooked Thai green chicken curry for dinner. Yes, I am aware of the skid marks at the upper right hand corner. What? WHAT?! Never seen skid marks before ah?
So I'm not fussy with presentation this time. And guess what? The curry tasted fantabulous! You don't believe it? I don't blame you. Even I'm still in shock. Parky, Omar, and Lum should be no different. Come to think of it, maybe they were just being kind.

Me: I can't believe this tastes so good! It looks like shit.

Omar: The best food normally looks like shit.
Me: And Vice Versa. The worst food normally looks good.
Omar: No, vice versa as in the best shit normally looks like food.
Parky: That's true actually.
Lum: ..........

H1 for Thai green chicken curry. Oh wait, only Unimelb uses the honours system. We say HD. High Distinction for the curry. Ahem.

Sunday, February 26, 2006

Impotent?


Viagra's the solution for you!

Oh well. What can I say?
I'm just a sucker for style and good design.
I'd probably watch the movie just for the art direction's sake. Although I already know the what the movie is about.
Spiderman saves the world. No kidding?

Saturday, February 25, 2006

Form follows function. Whatever.


The spoon looked like mushroom when I put it in the bowl.

My Saturday lunch. Dumpling Noodles it is.
Dumplings: Sun Circle's instant Chicken & Corn dumplings. Bought from the Asian grocery shop.
Noodles: Hakubaku ramen noodles from Asian grocery shop.
Broth: Lee Kum Kee ready made chicken powder from Asian grocery shop+ soy sauce + fish sauce + salt + pepper.
Lettuce: Well, they're from the fridge.
So basically, they're all instant and ready made. And I still spent like, what, 30 minutes making this dish.
Surprisingly, it tasted alright. Kinda like those noodles they sell in shops full of white people. Shivers.
Maybe it tasted alright because I put the noodles in a proper bowl with proper chopsticks with a proper looking spoon.
It's all about style, I tell you.
And at 2pm, a small breeze followed by a huge clap of thunder turns into a heavy downpour of rain. Finally.

Blue is the colour, I want you to know


Although the heat was a bitch, it was a beautiful day.

Ah. Rialto Towers.
It's my second time up here. I like it coz there're balconies which we could actually go 'out' and feel the wind.
While covered by caged railings of course. Wouldn't want people to fall off and dirty the beautiful pavements of Melbourne.
I don't know. These towers thingy always make me feel alone. I guess when you see everything in a larger scale, you feel tiny.
And then you wish someone was there with you. Anyone.
I looked to my left and I saw Prateek. God's pretty kind to me.

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Stupid storyline with a smart twist


I'd have your children knowing that I'd die, too.

The other good thing about moving out, is the internet.
It took me 4 days to download this movie. The host ripped 2 VCDs into 1.4GB total of raw files. A pain up in the very inner world of my anus when my limewire is going average 5kbps.
Anyway, I've seen the second part of this movie back home during Chinese New Year while my relatives were chewing peanuts.
It's your everyday miracle family story: Mom returns miraculously to father and son after a year's death.
So you get the drift. Shock of reunion turns to joy of being together turns to the heartbreaking of parting. Bla. Bla. Bla.
The ending, however, was unexpected. I'll leave that unspoiled. (Having said that guys should watch this movie alone so that you can cry alone and not feel embarassed about it)
The movie was shot interesting enough to keep the audience engaged, considering the dullness of the story.
I'd say the director and scriptwriter did a good job.
The reason I'd watch this movie, is Takeuchi Yuko. Yuko, mmmm. Drool. She's married. Arggh. Whimper. Sob. Why?
It's a good thing I guess. I'm sure she's a bitch in real life. Just like Aki in Crying Out Love from the Centre of the World.
Women are just pretentious creatures. Meh.
And of course, Holyfuckingwood's decided to remake the movie, staring Jennifer Garner. Yes, Jenny who fucking did Elektra.
Someone get me a shovel.

UPDATE: oops. I've forgotten to write down the most important thing in this post: the title of the movie. Well, the translated title is 'Be With You', but I doubt people actually know it. Japanese is pronounced Ima, Ai Ni Yukimasu, which means 'I want to meet you now'. And yea, the shovel is for killing myself.

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Chicken in China the Chinese chicken


You think this really helps fighting poverty? Totally.

Celebration of me being back for a week!
Well, not really. They just felt like smoking Sheesha.
I realised that for the past week I've been to Safeway more than I've ever been throughout my whole 4 years in Melbourne.
Safeway is like a second home while staying out.
But it's good. We always manage to entertain the workers. A Chinese worker was laughing because I was ordering Parky to work in Chinese: 'Work, white slave, work!'

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

You're worth more than that

I sold off some of my books today.
The guy took a whole stack of them and gave me $15 in return. I wasn't happy. It felt like a cheap relationship.
You bought the books, thinking that it'd give you wisdom and knowledge. And you sell them off once you've realised you can't learn anything from them anymore.
Or, you found a better book. Maybe, you've no space to accomodate them, which, is my case at the moment.
Yup, cheap, worthless relationships. And you sell them off for a price of a meal. That's what I did. I bought dinner tonight with the $15. Worst dinner ever. It's KFC actually.
It's a good thing books got no feelings ain't it?
Or I'm just too fucking sentimental. If only I can treat the women like my books. Sigh. Wait, it's the other way round.
I look forward to the day I got used to the trams passing my balcony/window. I'm sick of getting alarmed every morning.
And the drunken people. I hope their pants catch fire.

What next? Jerusalem Sprite?


Notice it's Mecca Cola 'classic'.

Yup. You saw it. Mecca Cola.
Omar brought it into our lives. Now him and Parky and planning to fill up the cabinets with a row of empty Mecca Cola cans.
Oh God.
It says 10% charity on one side the can. While the other side says 10% Palestinian childhood. I sure hope it doesn't mean they use child labour to produce the drink.
That'd be sad. We've used up 10% of other children's childhood to drink Mecca Cola. When they could fly kite and ride bicycles.
It tastes Halal if you know what I mean. Less gas, very very very sweet. Parky likes it apparently.
Anyway, we've even thought up the ad for it:


Alwayz Mecca Cola. Dzrink zis or die!

But seriously, Mecca Cola's a well established company that's anti-American consisting a wide range of refreshments since 2003. And trust me, they are flying off the shelves.
This is not the first time Coke's facing the 'Muslim' challenge.
Zamzam Cola, an Iranian drink named after a holy spring in Mecca, has won an enthusiastic reception in Saudi Arabia and Bahrain as well, according to BBC. Mmm. Zamzam.
You learn something new everyday, I guess.

Monday, February 20, 2006

Life at 313A, 640 Swanston Street


Where are the chopsticks godamnit?!

I cooked Carbonara for lunch today. Parky and Omar were trying to be kind by getting seconds. Which is why I'm showing dinner here, not lunch.
Below is a summary of our dinner:
H: Harvard. O: Omar. P: Parky. (countries in column signify the accent that we used while conversing with each other)

H: This Teriyaki Chicken is great, Omar.
O: (british) Oh why thank you, Master Wang.
P: (french) You poof, you just add in the ready made sauce. Nothing big deal about it. Piece of shit.
O: (indian) Hey, I put in additional capsicum.
H: Whoa!
P: Whoa!
O: (indian) Wait, who left their room lights on?
P: (french) Why I don't know. It's not me, it's not Omar. And we have only one, two, three people here.
H: Oh shut up. (ran to switch off room lights) I don't understand, why can't we just switch on all the lights.
P: No, no. We're trying to live the lives of third world country people. And they only get candle lights in third world countries.
O: (french) Some didn't even have candles.
P: (french) Are you challenging me? Fine. (Blows off candle)

[complete darkness]

silence.

P: Ok, fuck this, I can't see what I'm eating. (relit the candles) Hmm, the food doesn't seem as tasty after you take a good look at them under the light.
H: Like some women.
O: This is so sad.

Friday, February 17, 2006

3 days without internet

Whoa, white people! Look another one!
My fingers hurt so much from assembling stupid Ikea furnitures. What's with their 'we treat furnitures like people' mentality?

Just by giving them cool names like Jokmook, or Lack, or Billy, doesn't change the fact that they are still lifeless furnitures!
Mmeh. yea yea back in Melbourne.
Home? Not really. Feeling foreign? Neither. Bizarre? Yes. Nostalgic? Maybe. Tired? Yes. Fustrated? Damn right.
A bit down, and a bit lost. Like, I've been staying in IH all my while in Melbourne so for me it's kinda like Melbourne = IH.
But now Melbourne = 313A, 640 Swanston Street + heat + no friends but Omar and Parky + rooms full of books + trams crossing outside the balcony. I'm still jet lagged so I might not be making sense here. Meh, who needs sense. Sense sucks.
I want to go home, but not really.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Fear not, it's a good year for pigs

But not for rats, I think.
Three of my rat friends'd broken up with their 'spouse's. I don't know. Coincidence I guess. And for different reasons too.
In the end whatever the excuse they all sound the same:

Because of long distance = I will feel horny.
Because of different personality = You are not horny.
Because I have a crush on someone else = I found someone else that's hornier than you, but as horny as I am.
Because of parents' objection = my parents think you're too horny.

But seriously, after having relationship(s), I start to wonder what I want in my next girlfriend. (doesn't hurt to have hope ok?)
Do I want a girl who's had relationship before as well, or do I want an innocent girl which I can totally mess her mind up?
Do you want a girl who'd grab you by your balls and say: 'Fuck the shit out of me!', or do you want a girl who'd say: 'Forgive me God for the sin I'm going to commit.'

Men's ultimate dilemma. Counting down to Valentine's Day. Oh oh, this is from me. It came out quite randomly.
'Valentine's Day is all about getting screwed for a steep price.'
Seriously. A couple dinner at Madarin Oriental cost RM480++ while it costs RM680++ for a dinner with WINE.
What do they put in the wine? Coccaine?

Friday, February 10, 2006

The man, the women, and the one in between.


Who the fuck is Tom Ford?

Just in case you're thinking I'm corrupting the youth with sinful pictures, take notice it's Keira Knightley and Scarlett Johansson in the shoot. They had to put Ford up so that, you know, maybe women would buy the magazine as well.
I tried to think that this is for the sake of art. But come on, it's Keira and Scarlett! You know it, I know it: Magazine kiosks are going to be REALLY messy and sticky during March.
And yay for feminism! After years of retaliation, the most successful Hollywood women end up being naked on the front cover anyway. Sacrifice for art again you say? Then why is the man not naked? (Ok, that just sounded so wrong)
You don't put art up on a pop celebrity magazine. Come on, it's pretty obvious that Vanity Fair needs attention. And guess which magazine is going to get a hell lot of publicity this month?
I hope the photographer is not Annie Leibovitz. Because shooting nude is just not Annie. This is so not her level. I think nudity is a way of saying 'I don't have any particular reason to ask you to, but HEY LOOK HERE!' There should be some other way than sex.
Then again, the cover looks awesome from an art direction's point of view. But I think it's too much for the public eye.
And Keira is too skinny. While Scarlett's getting chubby.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Black Lighting

Ok. I lost it. Guess what?
An Indian guy touched me on the shoulders AGAIN!
Wah NABE KNNBCCB! MAKnYA PuNYa CHEeEEEBAaaI!
This time it was a lottery ticket seller.
And I thought I'd definitely be safe in a Chinese Kopitiam. What the fuck is this?! 'Indian touching Harvard' season?
Is there some Indian organisation that has my picture in the hall with a big sign 'touch Him for good luck and wealth'??!
And I've check other tables. No he didn't fucking touch anyone else while selling his fucking lottery tickets.
And this time my back was against him. That was damn freaky ok? Suddenly a hand appeared out of no where and landed on your shoulders. You turn around and a big face is smiling at you.
Uuurugh! Maybe I should harness this talent(?) of mine and advertise in India. I'll put a big picture of mine and they'll all buy whatever shit I'm selling, even Big Mac or LV leather bags.
Seriously, this is the 5th time already.
And I'm starting to get used to it. Fuck.

Dearly beloved


We'll always love you, Choy.

Another week before I return to Melbourne. Reflecting on my whole vacation, I've decided that my greatest achievement, was not my trip to Japan, or my near death Chinese massage experience, nor my ability to attract the Indian male species.
It was cheering for Ah Choy with my friends in the cinema. We shouted: 'Ah Choy ah! Somebody save Ah Choy! You can do it Ah Choy' while Choy, that Chinese dude died in
King Kong. And you better not forget it as he was the pillar of the whole movie!
Tears was building in our eyes. The tension was building like a huge rock in on our heart. He fought for his life.
Great acting skill. Catch Choy in Peter Jackson's King Kong. The movie went downhill after he died. Trust me.

Wet Wet Wet? BB Mak? No, it's Take That.

Spent the whole day in KL today.
I was waiting at the traffic light, waiting to turn right into the KLCC parking lot while talking trash with X.
Of course, eventually the light turned green and I took a steep turn, only to realise 2.38 seconds later that I was on the EXIT lane.
Which means that cars were coming INTO my direction. I figured that out because there were big NO ENTRY signs, plus cars were coming INTO my direction.
I said: WhooOooOa! and took an immediate u-turn.
The thing was, a black Mercedes followed my misdirection as well. But he did not take a u-turn. From my mirror I can see his black ass going into the 'tunnel'.
I felt really guilty and wished he was ok. That was before X and I laughed like your irritating aunt for 10 minutes.
He must've been thinking: This guy crazy, took sudden U-Turn and no signal. Bloody dangerous young people nowadays. Hmm, how come this pole is before the ticket machine one? Stupid car why in my direction?
Thanks to him, I feel less like a dumb ass. I still feel stupid taking the wrong turn la, but I get to laugh at stupider people.

An Indian guy touched me on the shoulder today. AGAIN! A different shop! Oei! This is not funny oei!
I was standing in front of the drinks refridgerator choosing my refreshment and this old guy came and put his hand on my shoulder, pointing to the fridge.
I sure hope he meant: go ahead and choose. Not: there's a water bed behind the fridge. ARRGH! One more Indian and I'll lose it.

Just laugh although you don't understand shit

今天猫爪突然说:明天黄瓜明天会和“暧昧” 吃晚餐。我和X听了都觉得很深奥, 原来暧昧是黄瓜朋友的名字。
结果两个人在车内想了更多深奥的例子,如:
小明和忧愁喝咖啡。国强和喜乐上床。
渝民和烦恼冲凉。我和寂寞过情人节。
神算和死亡有约。阿福带感冒回家。
比克和嫉妒搏斗。成龙和淫贱乱搞。
元甲和宿醉同眠。润发和命运打麻将。
乔丹用大老二锄地(弟)。伯通和左右手玩3P。
麦当劳接力棒赛和便秘同组。
And the list goes on...
你有更棒的比喻吗?欢迎来搞,哦是来稿。

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Now THIS is class

Ok you might or might not have received this forwarded mail. But I just need to share this, especially with the unimelb students.
So a finance student mailed her lecturer asking if he could postponed their summer exam from the 14th till 15th of February to avoid Valentine's day. This was the lecturer's reply:


Dear Li,


This is such an important question that I felt that it would be important to answer to all students who may be affected by the very serious predicament of an exam being held on the morning of Valentines Day. Hence:

Dear all students (and especially those who may be romantically involved with another),

In setting the exam date for corporate finance I thought long and hard about the impact of it coinciding with Valentines Day. Would exam preparation be affected by shopping for perfume, flowers or the latest Anthony Callea cd? What about young lovers who planned on meeting for an early morning latte, a sugar-coated biscotti and a sharing of the Age's Epicure section at Brunetti's? Isn't life hard enough without having all the joy of the international day of lovers taken away by some cold-hearted academic eager to finish the exam period off and get to his summer chalet in Dromana? For who was I to stand in the way of young love, for wasn't I also young once?

With grim resolve, steely determination, a stiff upper lip, a hand of fate, a nose for trouble, a tennis elbow and an eye for detail I put forward my claim on behalf of the lovestruck to the Grand Poobah of exam timetabling: "He who must not be named but who enjoys setting exams for large classes late in the exam period so as to frustrate lecturers incharge". In his infinite wisdom he replied:

"But Sean, what of our students of Italian, Chinese or Brazilian origin? For surely you know that in ancient Rome it was the festival of Lupercus, the god of fertility that was celebrated by young lovers on the 15th (not the 14th) of February. In China, Valentines day is superceded by "The Night of Sevens" (being the 7th day of the 7th month of the lunar calender) and in Brazil, June 12th marks the date of celebrating "Dia dos Namorados" (lit. "Day of the enamored", or "Boyfriend's/Girlfriend's Day"). Surely my friend, you are not suggesting that we alienate young lovers from each of these other important members of the university community?" http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Valentine's_Day

So, with head bowed and with great contrition I apologised to "He-who-must-not etc" for interrupting his musings on whether to set the next lot of the exams under the clocks at Flinders Street Station, in the Great Southern Stand at the MCG or in the roundabout on the corner of Elizabeth street and Royal Parade and returned to my office.

Students, and (specifically Li) know this: I fought law and the law won, you have to know when to hold and know when to fold them, love is a battlefield. Now it is up to you to put it behind you, to show that true love can't be beaten by a three hour exam, even with an additional 15 minutes reading time.

Study hard friends.
Dr Sean "No-problem-too-small-(apparently)" Pinder


If only all lecturers were like this. I'd enjoy my subject more. Apparently it's real since I have the mail and the student's ID number and all. Feel free to ask me for the actual mail. The lecturer should have became an advertising man. Unimelb's Commerce faculty may not be that boring after all.

Sunday, February 05, 2006

You used to have a crush on her, remember?

Met up with my primary school mates the other day.
I've never seen some of them for the past 10 years. It's a really weird sensation meeting them all, talking about past times.
The surprising thing was that I could still go hang out and talk and watch movies with them without much effort.
I can't even talk to some people although I've known them or lived with them in IH for a couple of years.
Yet I could spend time with strangers which I haven't met for 10 years, just because we used to be in the same class when we were 8 years old. It's very weird, this primary school friends thingy.

p/s: And yea, I never knew I was popular among the girls during primary school until they told me now. Why didn't they tell me then? I always thought no one liked me when I was young. I want to claim damage for my childhood loneliness!

Friday, February 03, 2006

Wet blanket

Realisation of the day: Happiness is getting awakened by a huge downpour of rain from your afternoon nap, knowing that you can sleep away to your heart's content.
Stupidity(again), however, is when a Utah teenager called the police when a burglar stole a big bag of marijuana from his home.
To quote what the police said: "Even the dumb criminals are generally smarter than this." I feel you man. I feel you.

Thursday, February 02, 2006

I shall stay away from India

I think Indian guys are attracted to me.
Seriously, especially the ones that work at mamak stores or restaurants. I think the working class Indians dig me.
Experience 1: I called upon an Indian waiter. He came over and put his hands on my shoulder and asked: Yes, how can I help you? (Anthea can back me up on this)
Experience 2: I called upon an Indian waiter. He came over and stuck his face 5cm to mine and asked: Yes how can I help you? (Justin can back me up on this)
Experience 3: I called upon an Indian waiter. He came over and gave me REALLY friendly service and tone of voice.
(Walkman can back me up on this, plus I might be too sensitive after the 2 experiences above)

And I was in different restaurants at different time.
I was thinking that maybe Indians see people in their 'inner heart' form. They have Yoga and shit, we never know.
Maybe they see people in the form of their past lives. And I used to be a hot Indian girl before I became who I am now.
I might be saying: 'One Nasi Lemak please.'
But this is how they perceive me:



'I don't feel like going home alone tonight.'

Well, at least I'm attractive in some ways to some people. Or I'm just extremely unlucky. I think unlucky.