Tuesday, August 29, 2006

True Love

"I’ve been with nearly every woman out there. I’ve had hundreds of strippers and models. But nobody touched my heart like Pam. She truly is the love of my life." -- Kid Rock who's recently married Pamela Anderson. He's the man.

Monday, August 28, 2006

BREASTS

Now that you're paying attention.
MASSIVE update on my phlog.

Sunday, August 27, 2006

Life in Slow Motion

If you've read Murakami's books at any stage, you'd agree that sometimes he likes to dramatise the lead character's senses.
For example, sometimes the lead character can sense that something 'within' his body is slipping away. Or after visiting some places, some memories or experiences get left behind at that certain location.Very deep stuff. Like, what do you mean, life's slipping away? I can never relate to that part of his novels.

Until today.

I woke up with this big rock on my chest, metaphorically. And I really didn't feel like doing a single thing.
After having 3 weetbix's, I went back to bed and lied there for 5 hours lingering between reality and the world of 'uuuuurrgh'.
Maybe it was the dinner conversation about my love life, maybe it was the long conversation over the phone, the frustration of my soon to be doomed uni life, all the other things that I can never get a hold of. And then I thought, am I just being a pussy?
Whatever the reason, I had to get up because my bowels informed me that I desperately needed to take a dump.

Saturday, August 26, 2006

Engrish

When I was doing the reading section of my IELTS test today, this three chords suddenly started playing in my head.
You know, that tiny segment before every song ends. And you don't remember anything else. And it started to loop.
It was so frustrating to figure out the tune while doing the test because it requires a lot of concentration.
Eventually I stopped reading and took one minute to go through the song list in my head. It was a cross of David Gray and Jack Johnson. Then I kinda guessed it was Antony and the Johnsons' 'Bird Gerhl' and continued to do my test in agony.
I think I wasted a whole band mark on that.

Friday, August 25, 2006

Choking on saliva

"I would guess, I would surmise that some of the more spectacular bombings are done by al Qaeda suiciders." -- George W. Bush, on violence in Iraq, Washington, D.C., Aug. 21, 2006

Thursday, August 24, 2006

AAAARGH

It all started with a harmless 'hmm, maybe I'll take a nap at 8.45 and wake up at 10pm to do my essay.'
And now it's 3.54am.
I spent the whole month adjusting my bodyclock and now I'm back to square one: Sleepless at four in the morning.
Cooking the noodles is the culprit I say.
Had a weird dream too. A salesman was trying to sell 3 gallons of Issey Miyake perfume to me for 1000 ringgit.
It literally came in the package of a fuel tank. He said I was saving 600 ringgit. It was the last one and I shouldn't miss out.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Dashi no moto


Parky's sick. So are the noodles.

Cooking noodles is such a bitch. Well, first you need a pot to cook the soup base. Then you need another pot for the noodles.
And another one for the chicken/dumplings. If you're cooking dumpling, you'd probably need the steamer.
Plus if your flatmate so happens to be muslim and can't eat pork. Again, you'd need a different wok to cook.
So eventually you get so worked up and hungry you can drop the noodles in a pile of shit and still eat it.
Honestly, I couldn't taste much difference with the green tea soba noodles. Maybe it's not soba at all. It's just green.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

It's been a week since Satomi's birthday


How come my present is one week late too?

Yea, somehow this photo just made me laugh.
As you can clearly see, she's so hot.

She that should not be named

Fine, so I've met her.
Bumping into ther was a result of 'avoiding bumping into her' went wrong. It's when your sources aren't keeping you well informed.
In the end, it was an agreement that we should talk.

Actually, I had no idea what's there to talk about.
I just wanted to do that so that I can ask the people who kept asking me 'so have you met her?' or 'what are you doing to do when you see her?' or 'OMG I JUST SAW HER!' to fuck off.

The whole process felt like an S-level anger management class: You telling yourself to keep calm all the time.
It was bizarre: sitting across you was the person that screwed your life upside down, but then you can't deny that your life's been better, if not fantabulous without her.
That's the whole process of meeting up with ex's: to confirm and make sure that your life has been 'very good' without each other.
And I like the calling for help thing. Every once in a while there'll be phone calls to make sure she's still in one piece.
Because I'm the one that's done wrong and might be dealing more damage than ever before? Well ladeedadeeda.
Nothing can change what has happened. And I guess nothing will change from now on. All I've got was a concrete sense that everything really took place. It's like you know shit happened, but you got to really smell the shit up close.

But wait, more bizarre news to come.

My primary ex-girlfriend, You know, those puppy love 'oh my pinky's the same length as yours we must be soul mate' kind, has won a beauty pagaent competition.
Even my mom knows about it. Actually, she's the one that told me about it. 'page 24 on SCJP'. Wow, mothers. They won't care about the documents you ask them to send, but they will tell you when your friend's won a beauty contest.
And I don't even recognise her on the picture (middle)! She didn't look like the 11 year old that I used to know! (duh)
I guess I'm still entitled to say 'Oh I used to exchange letters and hit on a Miss Beauty Pagaent'. Tee hee.

Update: Wah apparently there's a streaming video too. I know the page is in Chinese, but it's pretty straight forward. No wonder I'm dissatisfied with girls. The first girl I liked is a Miss Chinese Malaysia! Grumble.

Monday, August 21, 2006

Top ten most beautiful cellphones


Picture paints a thousand words, and dollars.

Title explains it all. Click here.
It just frustrates me how KDDI keeps coming up with all these phones that I'd trade my girl friend in for.
And then they say 'soli, onri avairable in Japan'.
Once you realised that you will never own a KDDI, it doesn't matter anymore. I chose a Nokia 6230 over a Chocolate during the winter. I mean, what's the point of owning a Chocolate?
Also check out the Marc Newson talby phone. Actually check out all their phones on the KDDI website.
Then come back and blame me for making you despise the very own phones you're holding. Unless, of course, you're holding the black diamond. Then you're just an idiot.

Friday, August 18, 2006

Ex IHers hear hear

This is another post-symphony conversation.
Parky and I were reminiscing the good old days in IH when everyone really wanted to do something for college.
We heard that most IHers nowadays just want to be cool and will only do something that will contribute to their room points, non-existant sex appeal or coolness.
And then we had the proudest moment in the year.
Ok, if you're an IHer, listen closely. Now that we're out of IH, we can finally say this out loud and proud.
If you want to be cool, move out of IH.
Because the fact that you're there clearly states that you can't cope with life and just need friends and meals to be prepared for you.
Don't get me wrong, Parky and I totally agree that we chose to stay in college for the exact same reason.
Just that now that we're out of there, nothing can stop us from making fun of the fishes in the aquarium.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Shostakovich turns 100


Argh, can't spot the hot violinist!

It's a been a while.
The collecting of student cards, getting on the tram to Flinders, queuing up in Mcdonalds' along Swanston.
Crossing Yarra to the Arts Centre.

It's true, it's been a habit that now we actually look forward more to the Happy Meals rather than the symphony itself.
Anyhow, it was Shostakovich's Symphony No. 7, Leningrad of the Courage Under Fire series. I admit, pop songs are easier to remember. Compare that previous line to 'Shake Your Bon Bon' and 'Animal Song' and you'll get the idea.
The piece was written during the war, so a lot of bing bing and bang bang if you know what I mean.
An hour and fifteen minutes plus a five minute encore without interval was pretty intensed and heavy. Then again, I was just there to pretend that I'm a high cultured person.
Whereas Parky, you can really sense the obvious uplifting of his mood after the symphony. If I were to suggest going to a stripshow, he'd probably agree and pay for it.
Yea, he was that happy. Shut up, you're just jealous because your flatmates do nothing but watch TV, hunt for sales in the city and lick peanut butter off Ricky Martin's poster.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Can't believe I'm saying this


My first MIFF ever. That word sounds suggestive. MIFF. mmm.

Yea, I'm actually thinking of doing architecture. Again.
Fine, maybe it's just a sudden infatuation after watching this documentary about Frank Gehry, the master architect who I think is as old as Chancellor Palpatine from Star Wars.
My first ever Melbourne International Film Festival movie, that was. A sudden decision too, when Justin invited me along.
We went to the Capitol Theatre and saw the Marthafocking long queue. And in a 'destiny' kind of a way, this guy offered to sell me a ticket because his girlfriend couldn't make it.
But yea, if it inspired me to do architecture (again), I can imagine the impact on archi students themselves.
Or maybe, because I'm watching from outside the circle, it's more difficult for me to spot the cock and bull.
But, compared to the Louis Kahn documentary I watched 2 years ago (also with Justin), this one made me feel more insignificant.
Suddenly I have this strong urge to do something that's more helpful or important to mankind. But then again, I know I'll worry about that pimple on my back more than the poverty in South Africa or the pandas that are dying from sexual deprivation.

Saturday, August 12, 2006

So is life


Frankly, it's a tough choice for me, for I don't fancy white chicks.

I'm sure many of you have seen the new Apple ads. If you haven't, you'd probably need to check them out to get this clip.
Although, it's as funny as it is.
I still think Wii is a crazy name.

Macro or Micro

I was having this conversation about homosexuals with my coursemates a couple of weeks ago. Don't ask how.
You know, the 'you know who' is a homosexual but someone else saw the 'you know what' at 'you know where'.
So anyway, the topic of bi-sexuals came up.
On the spot I came up with this theory that, bi-sexuals are the most worthless, pathetic losers of them all.
If you're straight, cool, you're going after the opposite sex. If you're gay, cool, you're going after the same sex. Straight or not, you choose a side. You have a stand.
I do not believe, ever, that a person's born bi-sexual. Bi's are just people who can't cope with either side of their sexuality.
They're afraid that they might fail being straight OR gay. Hence they invented their own sexuality. 'Oh, I fling both ways'.
Why don't you go have a sex change and be an earthworm? Get a pair of breasts/balls and you're locked, stocked and ready to roll.
Life's not like that. It's like saying 'Oh, I'm a Muslim, but I can eat pork because I'm a Christian too.'
Which brought me to the next question: So were there demands for straight people to turn bi because of the overwhelming supply of gays? Or simply the other way round? Gays just can't get their own kind and went: Fuck it I'll sleep with a straight if I have to.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Don't eat chicken


Name me anything in the picture that's not Asian.

So there I was, standing in front of the kitchen table, drinking the buddha's tears that was given to Parky and I for last year's play effort, which I contributed nothing.
Coincidentally, I just finished designing this year's play poster for IH. Again, it's either I'm that good, or they're just plain lazy and crap. I've left a long time ago, damn it!
So, I was chewing the kuaci's away, and I realised the kitchen table scene is very... oriental. Surreal to an extent.
There and then, I realised, I'm a sad, pathetic uni bum drinking tea alone in the kitchen. And I like it. I even came up with an idea for an ad during the process.
Wish this life'd go on forever.

Friday, August 04, 2006

A joke that I cannot not share

A guy's having a serious gastric problem.
He went to seek help from Dr. Wong.
The fat doctor nodded, while creaking his chair he told our guy that it's quite serious, yet fear not, as it's his job to cure people.
All he need is to have a capsule stucked up his anus. 'Two times, and you're cured. But I warn you, the pain is unbearable.'
After saying that, the doctor ordered him to take off his pants while aiming the pill into his anus......
The doctor then handed him another pill, asking him to do the same thing 6 hours later. 'Buy some lubricant or peanut butter or WD40 if you can't get over the pain.'
6 hours later, the guy tried to squeeze the pill in. Half an hour later he's still trying: He just couldn't get the angle right.
He asked for his wife to help and she reluctantly agreed. One hand on his shoulders, the wife aimed for his anus...
'AAAAAAAAAAARGHHGH!' exploded the man.
'Oh my GOD, did I hurt you?' the wife panicked.
'Worst...' exhaled the man, 'I just remembered, when the doctor did it to me, he had two hands on my shoulders...'