Saturday, September 30, 2006

All happened in a week


They superglued my fingers so I couldn't go out. Bastards.

Ok, here we go.
I am going to Hong Kong.
They're flying me there in 2 week's time to sign the contract. After that, I guess, I'll have to work there?
Unless this is all set up by a millionaire who needs a fresh pair of kidneys. I'm still taking the risk.

Friday, September 29, 2006

If I were a rich man

While I was shopping in that Asian DVD shop along Bourke and Russell, this tiny man walked in the store.
He looked pretty Chinese to me at first, but then he parted his lips and started talking to the sales girl.
That, was the HEAVIEST Aussie accent ever.
He asked if the shop sells Anime, he was looking for Dragon Ball Z. I heard myself giving a snort through my nose.
Dragon Ball was like, 134 years ago, dude.
15 minutes later, I was in Footlockers looking at shoes. The same guy walked in and asked for that colorful Adidas walking shoes.
The lady asked for his size, he said ' I don't know. Sorry for my small feet', which invited a long awkward silence in the shop.
As usual, I started making up a story for this little fella.
Maybe he's a typical Aussie bloke, who made a wish to the tooth fairy to be an Asian the night before.
'Golly, I want to be tiny and be able to watch Anime with lightning fast action and buy colourful shoes!'
That, or he just escaped from Tasmania.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

A 7-11 of superstars


Uchoten means 'ecstasy' apparently.

I've waited for this DVD for 8 months.
This movie is written and directed by Koki Mitani, who gave us 'Welcome back Mr. McDonald' and 'Everybody's house'.
He is like the interesting version of Ozu and Hou-HsiaoHsien: long, chronological shots but extremely entertaining.
That's the word: Entertaining.
Don't expect it to be an epic, auteur kind of movie (although I think he is an auteur by himself) but this is as good as modern Japanese cinema gets: Everyone leaves with a smile.
I'm not even sure who I am writing this for, because, all my Japanese friends'd have watched it; my close friends'd probably end up borrowing the DVD from me; and my not so close friends won't give a damn; my enemies, well, fuck off.
I'm starting to get attracted by YOU's mickey mouse-like voice. I hated her as the child abandoning mother in 'Nobody Knows', but her closing act was pretty adorable. Wait, isn't she 40 or something? SO? What's wrong with mature women?
Anyway, watch this, excellent cast yadda yadda, it smashed all the box office record, great story. Did I say it has a great story?
Well, it started with

From fish to terrorism

A night in 313A: Omar making Parky a tuna sandwich singing 'freedom~' to the Michael Jackson 'beat it' tune.
I've always thought that the context of 'beat it' was about masturbation, but Omar and Parky disagreed.
Then Parky commented how the sandwich's mayonnaise was dripping and the bread was 'beating it' to his hands.
I really will miss these conversations . Even if I do get to Hong Kong, I'll never be able to talk about 'beat it' in the open.
Once again, they begged to differ. And I started singing 'beat it' in Cantonese. ' Da Fey Gay! 打飞机!' (Da Fey Gay = Hit the plane. Don't ask me why HK relate masturbation to that.)
And then we realised masturbation in Cantonese brings a total different meaning to the mid eastern countries now.
I came back with my own tuna sandwich.

Monday, September 25, 2006

Do you go to bed at night?

It's been happening quite frequently.
I spend a whole day counting the seconds away, walking around, waiting for night time to come so I could sleep.
And then wee before bedtime, I clicked on some random site which leads to another less random site which leads to an 'ok' website to a design site, which leads to a site like the top 10 Japanese designer review by The Japan Times.
And then instead of sleeping, I'll spend the night(morning) away awe strucked by inspiration, fear, and my own insignificance.
And what follows is a major update on my 1+1 list on the right. Most of them will be about, duh, Japanese designers. I've short listed my favourite 4 (3 actually, Yoshioka was up just because he designed the Issey Miyake TO watch) so definitely have some balls at these state of the art websites.
Notice how everyone's using simple white background? I had a similar idea for my end of the year exhibition too.
Now it'd look like I've ripped them all off.
I so want to be a designer that doesn't suck but what do I know, I'm just a uni student.

The orange one actually tastes good


Figure 1. Subject might not be up to scale.

In marketing terms, I'm considered under the demographic target market for Warner Lambert's mouthwash product.

In short, I use Listerine.
Like any other consumers, I buy my Listerine from a supermarket. In fact, I've just done that 2 hours ago.
Is it just me, or is the 1L bottle range just a bit too intimidating? Like, there're the 300ml, 500ml, and whoosh, the giant 1L bottle.
I'm aware that I use it daily and the 3 dollar I can save. I probably do gargle more than a litre of this antiseptic mouthwash a year, yet I really can't put my feet down to take it off the shelf.
It's just a mental thing. If I buy the 1L package, I'd end up drinking it. Simply because, my mind is programmed to drink from a big, transparent bottle. Similar theory, I wouldn't drink from a bottle less than 200ml. It'd feel like taking poison or medication.
That's why I can't understand girls showing up in class with a nudie bottle. I mean, what's the point? Observe figure 1 closely.
You'd probably produce more salivas than that tiny bottle of juice or wachamacall it. It's less than a mouth full of water.

p/s: on a totally unrelated note, I realised I've bought a conditioner instead of shampoo from the supermarket.

Sunday, September 24, 2006

The Corrs was pretty gay

Was discussing with Lummie about her best dream ever, which, consists of certain celebrities as her boyfriends.
How come I never have dreams with ANY supermodels as my girlfriends? Hell forbid what I'll do though.
I once had a dream diary. It's not pink and fluffy with a lock, just an A4 pad with what I could remember first thing I woke up.
So normally they're just some sentences, or scenarios.
Yet surprisingly, I could recall all the dreams having those reminders as notes. When I read 'flying on opened car trunk filled with blood', I can sort of remember the texture of the trunk and the landmarks I flew past and the people I was with.
.....or maybe I should just take my medication.
I stopped writing about my dreams because I realised they're more interesting than my life in reality.
If you read about any news concerning a bloody car trunk in the future, it wasn't me. We clear? Good.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Yo Pablo


See if you can find a mule in it.

Sketch title: My trip to a Picasso exhibition.
The first impression you get from Picasso will probably be the same like my dad's:

Stupid 3 year old drawing, waste my money $%^&$#@

But then, if you slowly walk through the galleries in NGV, you'll probably pick up some non '3 year old' aspects in his work.
You listen to other people's discussion 'oooh, I like the colour', 'aww, look at that composition', ' Mom, I feel hungry' etc and you'll probably nod to it and think of them as interesting.
Prolong that for another 2 hours of the same thing you'll end up with the conclusion:

Stupid 3 year old drawing, waste my money $%^&$#@


Yet I'll still encourage you to go. How many times will you be able to see Picasso in Melbourne? What? You're not artsy enough?

Look, 95% of the people in there have no fucking clue about Picasso's work. They don't even know Dora Maar was his lover (Fine, that was me). Just go and have a fun time trying to see guys trying super hard to impress some chicks, or vice versa. It's fun.
Exhibition ends 8th October.

Sunday, September 17, 2006

Shallow slut of capitalism


If Pixar were to design coke cans...

With a certain hesitation and embarassment I told my brother the possibilty of the maybe of the perhaps of applying for architecture. He replied:

Well sure. I also encourage you do a film making course, wait no, a short film course, which you focus on a subject but multiple angles. Better yet, put it on a website and call it slapyourdickonme.com. I'll even pay you for that.

I shall take that as an encouragement.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

World of midgets


Honey, guess where I found this eventually?

This is ridiculous.
I don't even know why they bothered.
What's next? Ipod on your contact lenses?

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Goodspeed Steve


Thank Justin for waking me up from my 11am nap to see the sky writing for Steve. If you can't read, it says 'Aloha'.

Oh my...


Just thought that it's been a while.

Educational section, hey?

It's one of those strange habits of mine.
Whenever I'm in one of those group dinners with tables long enough to hold the last supper, I start tidying my wallet.
So yesterday I found this Borders 15% discount voucher that would've been expired by 11pm. The time was 10.40pm.
As 'hardworking' as you'd think Asians are, you'd never see a single one of them in Borders at 10.45pm on a Sunday night.
In fact, the only place you'd see Asians study out of the library during night time would probably be at Starbucks.
But hey, don't get me wrong. The white people who stayed at Borders then weren't reading books. Most of them were making out. Even the staffs were trying to pick each other up.
I guess, I'm just trying to cover up that I dashed there focusing on the 15% I could save and not the rest that I'd spend.
And it's strange how I started off intending to buy 'How to Kill your Husband' but ended up with Ryu Murakami's '69'.

Monday, September 11, 2006

A day of old friends

Woke up this morning receiving an email from Riyo saying that she's arrived Beijing in one piece and kicking.
Somehow, this pang of guilt hit me. How can I not have been to China when even my Japanese friends are study-touring there?
The worst part, I think, is that I've been to Japan and Taiwan, but not China. Hell, I probably know less about its geography than Parky. Then again, Parky just wants to marry asian chicks.
You know, like those sitcoms when the father decided to marry a 3rd wife after the 2nd wife's got abused and tortured and the teenage son decided to run away from home? China is like the home, and I the teenage son who ran away.
And the plot goes to 20 years later when the father and wives are all dead, their other sons contact the now grown up son.
The son's just too guilty to go back although the family's completely changed and he'll always be a part of the family.
I don't know much about my so called country of origin. I know that's where my grandfather came from, but somehow when I think grandpa I think Colonel Sanders.
Sometimes it sickens me to realise that I'm just like a Nike shoe: We're all in a way made in China, but claiming that we're not.
I guess this means I can get away with insulting both Japan and China. They're the same thing anyway.

P/S: Added links to Mr. John from Jakarta and Mr. Crazy to my Ivy League, which isn't much to start with.

Saturday, September 09, 2006

Sentimental Journey

Lesson for the day: Make sure you hit the 'cancel' button after a phonecall, not the 'loudspeaker' button.
Lesson for you life: Never make a negative comment about anyone especically straight after a phone conversation with them.

Other than that, life's been pretty ok.

Discovered Nogi Nada yesterday. I shall put her link to my list of 1+1's. Go watch that MTV she made for Yuki.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Too late Tohm


When I thought my blog couldn't get any worse.

Monday, September 04, 2006

God: 2 down, 1 to go


It's actually the size of your thumb.

Omar's second fish, which he named Harvard, died.
That leaves the remaining fish, Parky since his first fish, Omar died a couple of months ago as well.
So Harvard the fish had a tumor.
That white round thingy on top of the black thingy? Yea, that's the tumor, which was fucking huge for a small fish.
Parky made a small coffin with the chocolate box while Omar dissect it. They buried it near the park I think.
I did my job by taking a photo.

Saturday, September 02, 2006

How's your sneeze?

Ok, I'm not trying to be mean or anything. A lot of you do ask me this from time to time and I'm not picking on anyone at all.
For some miraculous reason, I've been jogging for over a year now and quite often I bump into people that I know of before, during or after my run. And 4 out of 5 times, they'll ask me:

So how's your run?

What kind of a question is that?
I mean, running is not like eating. It's not like 'so how's your carbonara?' or 'how's the new cookie flavoured kit kat?'
Is there something about running that I've missed? Like this hidden world where running's categorised into 'sweet', 'painful', 'sad' , 'salty', 'wet', 'crazy bitch' run etc.
Are you expecting something interesting to happen while I jog? I mean, hey it's only a jog around the track or park.
Do tell me. So that next time people ask me so how's your run I can say 'Man you're not gonna believe it, I saw a dog screwing a horse'.
How's that for 'how's your run'?

Friday, September 01, 2006

Musique dansante


Ouui? Oouui? Oui.

Since people have been asking me about them, Putumayo world music is a label that sells, well, world music.
I think I bought a Bossa Nova CD when the Putumayo craze caught up a few years ago. It was just a novelty thing.
But this CD, I stumbled across by chance.
I walked passed the CD section in Borders, I saw the CD on the rack, and I went 'Oh, a French Chanson album.'
I scanned the barcode, listened to the first track, and decided to buy it. It's like a cheap, instant fling, but with a CD.
It's very Bossa Nova, just that it's in French. So you can impress girls by saying that you listen to French Chanson and when they ask you what's that you can say it's like Bossa Nova but it's in French and they'll ask you what's Bossa Nova and by that time you'd already have like 5 minutes conversation time with a girl which you normally won't. Or you can just listen and enjoy.

Unhealthy Friday


I know it's your favourite movie, Justin. But read the book.

What's the worst thing you can do after finishing Nick Hornby's High Fidelity? You know, the one about relationship screw ups?
The one that will ultimately make you think of your top five heartbroken moments, which you'd make up anyway even if you don't really have five of them.
I watched the movie High Fidelity starring John Cusack after I finished reading the book High Fidelity.
What's worse than that you say? Well, how about watching the deleted scenes of High Fidelity after watching the movie High Fidelity after reading the book High Fidelity?
Well I guess you get the point.

There's only so much one can take regarding their broken relationships: past, present and potentially the future.
Yet it's disappointing, how the all American movie totally screwed up my whole expectation of the British book built in my head.
It's the same with relationship, I guess. Not with the Americans screwing the British, just the disppointment.