Monday, October 29, 2007

Happiness is alive.

So I was on a cab to work at 8am this morning.
The cab driver was typical (Indian), and he had to look through the Melway for direction. That I could cope with. It happens.
Eventually we were cruising along Victoria street towards Richmond. It's a pretty straight and long stretch. That I understand.

Until suddenly, I heard a snore.

My initial thought was that maybe I was falling asleep. But then again my fear told me I was pretty fucking awake.
I look to my right, and my trusty Indian cab driver was really unconscious. I swear, my life was flashing back at that moment.
Until my lips voluntarily formed into a hoop and shouted: HOEY!

The car swerved from left to right. My butt cheek went from loose to tight. And eventually I managed to stay alive.
But seriously, after getting off the cab, I sat down on the curb and had a moment. Then I started laughing.

I did not have a stressed out photoshoot last week.

Friday, October 26, 2007

X.

This is probably 2 months late.
I remember walking pass the table of an account service person, and on her desk lied a poster advertisement for a bank with the headline:

Loan approved so fast you'd think we're on steroids.

Also, there was a big 'X' across that poster so I'd assume that the ad had been rejected. What a pity.

Monday, October 22, 2007

Perspective.


While sitting through a job with our studio manager on Friday, I learned how to view outlines using Illustrator.
I like it. It's almost like an architectural plan of a building.

Why we don't need women





I like these ads not only because they're funny, but also because you don't see more than 3 seconds of the female species.
They're a campaign built on a simple insight that's far away from sex, but also on a budget that's 1/10 of Australian beer companies.
They've been cheering me up for the past week.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

It's all make believe, isn't it?

Have you ever seen a girl cry, and she has no idea why?
I thought that only happens in movies. And my lecturer in Cinema Studies will refer that scene as 'the deciding point when the heroine realised that she's in love. And the reason she doesn't know why is that she's experiencing something that she's never experienced before. '

But you can't really say that in reality, can you? Like, 'Holy shit, this is the deciding point of the movie that you realise you're in love!'

That will just make me sound stupid, yes?

Also, have you seen a man running from one train station to another, chasing after something important in his life?
You know, another one of those things that happens in movies which my lecturer will say: ' after the train door closes, the hero realises his mistake and regret, and decides to pursue the heroine.'

It doesn't really happen in real life, does it? Like, the train is actually faster than human. And sometimes, you end up at the wrong station, with really sore feet.

That's also stupid, yes?

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Boom shake shake shake the fridge.


This is what happens when you put a can of Pepsi Max in the freezer and forgot about it until 24 hours later.
All hail Boyle's Law aka P1V1=P2V2 aka PV = nRT aka shit explodes when you freeze them in the freezer.

Monday, October 15, 2007

月曜日。

我不能再迷糊下去。
同時,發現在玩弄我的,是我自己。
我允許自己被傷害,允許自己被玩弄。
我連善待自己的能力都失去了。

﹣﹣ 2004年6月15日

3年又4個月後,我發現狗改不了吃屎的習慣。

Like a bite.


Anyone remember Yoko-Yoko? It looks different from the image above because the one I currently possess is blue in colour.
So it's kind of like a heat pack and burns off your muscle fatigue.

So keyword: burn.

I was in my pajamas watching Rove yesterday and my biceps were annoying me due to gym on Friday. So I managed to dig out this old Yoko-Yoko I sneaked in from home. See, I wanted to apply it without taking off my long sleeve sweater. My first option of going in through the sleeves was dismissed because they were too narrow and my arms were just plain fat. So I had to go in through the stomach.
Before the stick managed to reach my biceps, it grazed through my chest.

Chest, which includes my nipple.

What followed after was a series of tears, fear, knocking on tables, panting, wheezing, 'woo - hoo!'s, and a bit of arousal.
The stick found its way to the biceps in the end.

Friday, October 12, 2007

LOGO.


Watching this video makes me realise how isolated I've became from the non advertising world. Normally I cringe at any sort of inside humour, eg., jokes about IT, physics, pie charts regarding business (get it? Pies! Haha!) and vow only to appreciate jokes that could be appreciated on a global and non bias perspective.
But I just can't stop laughing over this clip and I'd expect less people than the existing pandas in the world to get the joke.
On that note, yesterday the account service sent out the artwork to the client before we (the creative department) got to see it.
I guess I can blame Tom and Nick for that.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Raindrops.

Today was the sort of day which I hold on to the train door for an old lady with a broken leg. And then she fucking stuck that hard rubber end of the crutches on my big toe. I thought it would've been strange for the guy across to see me holding the door and cursing at her the same time.

Today was also the sort of day which I realised I was in love. But that was 5 days ago. And now I'm all out of love.

Friday, October 05, 2007

K Double FC


The legendary fried chicken from Cookie.
As if they just bought KFC across the road and deep fried it again. They've got heart attack written all over, but if only you were there to taste it.

Just say busy.

The thing I hear a lot recently is the different office jargon for the word 'busy'. People seem to have trouble saying 'busy'.
We have to say something like 'under the pump', 'under the hammer', 'under the thumb', 'churning', 'ass raped' (ok I made the last one up).
However, my favourite will always be the quote from Stephen King: busier than a one legged man in an ass kicking competition.
Or you can simply say 'FUCK OFF!' when people ask if you're busy.

I didn't finish the last of the $80 red wine.



Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Who you gonna call?

The Indian cleaners of the agency come in everyday at 7ish. They're quiet people and they do their jobs. Jobs, such as emptying the recycling bins and normal bins into the same big fucking bins. Jobs like moping the floor and putting stuff into the dishwashers. Jobs such as smelling like an orgy of armpits.

Yes, they leave a trail of BO whenever the come in. If you don't memorise their path and do the limbo, sometimes you pass out and don't remember a single thing.

It's 6.49pm now and the remaining employers in the agency are laughing our heads off. Partly because a girl is trapped in the elevator, mainly because she's trapped with one of the cleaners. And to think today my partner and I were having such difficulty coming up with an idea for 'the unluckiest man on the world'.