Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Everything's shit from here.

I can't remember the last time I actually had a meal out of the city. Thanks to Yen Li with her car, I had my best meal of the week.
With the leftovers, I'd probably have my best lunch tomorrow.
She ordered the Penang Kuey Teow and forgot that she couldn't handle spice too well. So at some point she was tearing and sniffing.
The whole restaurant probably thought I was being a prick. Which I quickly put on my loud Singaporean accent for a while.
At least they can go home and say ' Yea that Singaporean dude so disgusting, make people cry.' Harvard 1 Singapore 0.

We swapped dish in the end.

You Jane.

I've been wanting to write about this since 2004 and I never did because I wasn't loser enough to bring a camera into Safeway.
So last Saturday I felt like quite a loser and did it.

Can I ask what the hell is with this Pak Choy Baby?
Yes I get it, small Pak Choy. But shouldn't it be Baby Pak Choy? Like baby carrots, baby elephants, baby Ralph Lauren, baby midget?
Why does the baby, come AFTER the noun?
Everytime I buy this, I've got Vanilla Ice singing 'PAK. CHOY. BABY.' in my head. That or Barry White going 'I want some Pak Choy, baby'.

Diary of an insomniac.

Today I had a 'didn't I just say that 3 minutes ago' moment in a meeting. And it dawned on me that I need to give in to the fact that it's really 'who' says stuff rather than 'what' was being said.

I thought about self destructive love on the way to work. Melbourne's like the 2nd most suable place in the whole world. People sue each other for not putting up warning signs, safety violations, miscommunication, defamation etc. But when it comes to relationships, people just take it. You can break my heart into million pieces but don't you post my music on the internet without my permission.

Like domestic violence. People can sue the shit out of a small foam cup, but they're afraid to speak up about their cigarette scars. They can invest on 'he will change' rather than 'oh the guy didn't mean to trip me with his lawn mower'.

And people should invent a sing-a-long microwave. Then I don't have to stare at the digits when my soup is heating up. I could sing a song. Like a karaoke.

Some guy cracked a really tasteless joke just now at the party. While the host was giving away GuyLian chocolates, he said 'haha got GirlBeng's or not?'

I tried to shower for an hour and failed. I do not understand how women do it. After 10 minutes I literally ran out of body parts to wash. Is there some secret shower techniques that only women know of? Do they have like extendable arms or another elbow tucked under the shoulder? I don't know.

24.04.08 04 34am

Monday, April 28, 2008

Lanna and the real guy.

International Guide Dog's Day is on Wednesday.
Since Seeing Eye Dogs Australia is our charity client, we get to explore with more creativity on the day.
This year's campaign is 'have dog can'.
Lanna's got a man because 'have dog can meet'. There's also 'have dog can work', 'have dog can travel'.
We'll be setting up on Flinders street and City square. There'll be bluetooth streaming and videos of the guide dog puppies.
I plan to make one that says 'have dog can make love' and place it in somewhere obscure in the office. After that I'll probably need a 'have dog can escape'.

Love it.

What a way to start a Monday.

Sunday, April 27, 2008


So for the past week I've been suffering from slight insomnia.

Dealing with it has been interesting. I gain an extra 4 hours a day. And I don't really feel any different at work.

I've been through probably 10 movies and 5 books over the last 5 days. (ironically one of the movies, Cashback, is about insomnia.)

As if my senses were covered with a layer of bubble wrap, and although everyone is moving faster, I still have time to study their faces and apply a whole family history to them before they step out of the train.

Sometimes my brain doesn't even comprehend what was coming out from my mouth, which lead me to a pleasant chat with 2 random girls on the street and having lunch with one of them the next day. I may have also chat up the girl behind the deli counter of Safeway and now am holding a piece of paper with her address written on it.

It's not like I'm turning into a new Tyler Durdan. Just that the anger that caused the lack of sleep that caused the anger made me not want to care about what I normally do. I know it will go away probably tomorrow. But I'll miss insomniac Harvard. He's much cooler than I am.

Saturday, April 26, 2008

Fine tuning.

Alright so I've been having these 67 songs on my shuffle for about a year now, and I think it's time to replace them.
Of course, me being all sentimental had also grown affection and attachment to these songs. So I'll probably post it up here just to remind myself these songs poisoned my mind during the year 2007.
Maybe you (you meaning the 5 people that actually frequent this blog) can tell me which songs I should keep?

Thursday, April 24, 2008

I like the 'har'?

This is probably 6 months old, but Best Ads on TV featured it on their website this week. And of course it stuck out like a thorn amongst all the other European ads.

It is almost by default we expect decent ads from Petronas during the festive season. It's the only time budgets get approved to make ads that solely sells the brand and no product whatsoever. And without fail, emotion is always the chewy center of the crust.

Yasmin Ahmad chose a different shooting approach for the Merdeka ads last year. I'm sold. Now let's hope we never find out if the kids are professional actors. That will just ruin the sweetness.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Very lice.

So I was at Adeline's 21st birthday party, and the other host were cracking lame jokes while washing up the dishes.

"Hey Harvard, if a fly loses its wings, do we still call it a fly, or a walk?"

I replied 'flied', which we both laughed, and ended up remembering the past tense of fly is in fact, flew.

I'm starting this book about the poor construction of the human brain and coincidentally it does mention how our memory works within context. The brain also searches for a more frequently visited word by default. For instance, our mind gets a broader and more dynamic visual when we hear 'dog' as opposed to 'platypus' or 'Napoleon'.

In short, I've used and cracked more jokes about 'flied lice' in my life in comparison to using the word 'flew'.

Monday, April 21, 2008


乾了杯過夜的Pinot Noir,睡覺去。

Art my foot.

Yup, that's my right knee. I mean whoa, $45 dollars was totally worth it. The X-ray is like an art piece on its own.
I'm going to frame it, once I know what it means.

Friday, April 18, 2008

Two and a half dimension.

Fold A to B.

VSL emailed about these cool Fold-Ins from MAD magazine. It's so retro it almost made me feel like it was part of my childhood.
What impressed me though, is that being MAD allows you to crack any joke about anything you want.
I'd go back to Malaysia when I see a magazine with jokes about pork and Muhammad and the prime minister.
In fold-up form.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

How far can love stretch?

Dude, that's a cool sweater.

The guy in front row fell asleep during the movie. How'd I know? Because he was snoring, that's how. I thought the lead actor became a ventriloquist, thankfully it's just a tight arse fuckwit who paid money to fall asleep in the cinema.

This is like my first movie since Christmas I think. Setting aside my deprivation and the fact that it bored a guy to sleep, I still find it refreshing.

You can take it as a comedy, or take it as a heart warming drama. But I actually felt sad watching Lars and the Real Girl.

Even with a blow up doll, love and life can still be complicated.
That's probably why the character is so lovable and believable. He didn't create a mail order plastic bride to escape into his own world, he escaped into the real world.

In order to fix things, sometimes you have to tear everything apart.

Monday, April 07, 2008

Light to the future.

Daylight saving is awesome.
The whole country pretends that an hour just popped out of nowhere and cheats our own biological clock to work around it.
When I was eating dinner at 9 o'clock I was in fact eating it at 10. And I'm going to wake up at 6 o'clock even when I intend to sleep till 7.
If we could cheat our way through jet lag and daylight saving, can we also cheat ourselves to be something we're not?
Like to be totally nocturnal, or an amphibian?

Sunday, April 06, 2008

Finger blood.

So I sliced my finger the other day.
I was actually quite pleased because that means my 100 dollar knife was well spent. It just brushed through my hand while I was cleaning the knife.
Next thing I knew, blood was everywhere.

I went 'OW f-heyy good on ya, knife.'

Fast food generation.

I had to remove the last couple of posts because the embedded YouTube videos were removed.
This is the problem with digital and web 2.0: you're never in control. Nothing is constant. And they never fucking inform you.
It's all up to you to find out.

Tuesday, April 01, 2008


Or as they say in Japanese, HuUUuuEeEEEeEEeee????
Scored a 258 with a passing mark of 240(out of 400).
So that's where my luck went last year. Wasn't fully prepared for it. I sat it just because I paid the examination fee.

Here's the breakdown of the JLPT test.
Level 1 you're an idiot, even our ministers can't speak that well.
Level 2 hey you can come and work at our 7-11's.
Level 3 congratulations now you officially suck.
Level 4 it's alright you're rubbish to begin with.
I wasted all my luck to be crap. That's the whole point.