Sunday, August 31, 2008

Spring blues.


I love winter. Mainly because I hate the hot sun. I hate perspiring. And I hate everyone showing off their bodies.
There's this girl at work who hates August. I find it disturbing and amusing at the same time. We've reached this stage that we could put on a hatred(jihad?) on anything which you need not justify. I didn't really think of hating a month. For all I know the month is totally innocent. I can't hate 5 o'clock. It's his job to be after 4 and before 6. Me not being able to leave at 5 is none of 5's concern.
I can't hate bitter melon for being bitter. It's her job to be bitter. It's my fault for not being able to handle bitterness.
Found this quote during the weekend:

If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn't part of ourselves doesn't disturb us.

Some chap by the name of Hermann Hesse. Profoundly true. As profound as how the photo above has nothing to do with this post. I wanted to talk about my new camera but ended up blurting out about this hatred thing that I find more interesting than what I have to say about the camera.

Malaysia turns 51.


My dad actually reminded me of that. Having not been back for almost 20 months this picture is one of my last memories of Klang.
Part of me wants the 3-seater motorcycles to be banned, but most part hope they never change. Ever.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

A Barack Obama moment by Anwar.

"The Malaysians consider this a critical point in our history, whether we get the mandate to chart a new course for Malaysia or we should just be happy with the same corrupt establishment." - On his win over a seat in Parliament.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

So, did I do this?


I wish. I really do. But Saatchi&Saatchi New York came up with such an ingenious ad to sell such a boring product. They made me laugh.
Such is life. And dental care.
And crappy guys named Bob.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

What I think about when I think about Murakami.



It seems inevitable for me to write a post about Murakami at least once a year, because somehow he's managed to release a book following that time frame.
His latest book, titled 'What I talk about when I talk about running' is a journal/memoir that spanned across ten years in the making(with the German version having the best cover) of his life dedicated to running.
After reading it, you really do get a feeling that he does take everything seriously and he obviously work in his own pace. And then you realise there're normal writers who just make up stories to include in Lonely Planet, and there's Murakami, who thinks without a physical strength to finish a full marathon one could never endure writing a novel. It's not really a self help book, but a plain black and white, progressive ups and downs of his life as a runner.
Tears almost swelled up for me at the part he decided to include on his tombstone, 'At least he never walked'.
I used to refuse to date anyone who's never read Murakami's before. Realising that Tohm's probably the only person that would be interested in his new book I think I'll really have to compromise on that.

Bitter sweetness.


You know you're in a disapproving place when you ordered something, and the waiter asks you to wait while they 'change' their oil.
He then forgets about your order and makes you wait for 20 minutes. That was an awful first impression for Hairy Canary at Little Collins.
Although their Cinnamon Churros is admittedly much better than the ones at San Churro's, I doubt I could ever forgive this horrible experience.

Stabbing the refridgerator.


Best Monday night ever.

Monday, August 25, 2008

God, father!


Again, what is wrong with Safeway?
That poster on my way to work, is freaky in a very freaky way.

It pricks.


This was one of our ideas for an ANZ internal brief encouraging the call centre staff to promote credit card insurance.
Not too different from the bowling pins, it's a really small job but I like it.

Saturday, August 23, 2008

The power of punctuation.


...is not realised by the Safeway management.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

The LQ metrolite #2


So, the headline says 'Take shots worth sharing'.
Alright, I guess that means only a phone camera can capture the instant kodak moments you want.
But couldn't I have taken 'worth sharing' shots with almost any other phone cameras? What's the actual product benefit?
Also, those picture are pretty shit if you ask me.
I'd never want to share those pictures. Maybe the ad is right, the only shot worth sharing is the one in the phone which my face is all covered up.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Why the 3G iPhone will not win the pencils below.


Maybe it's easier if I put it this way: Why the 3G iPhones suck.

1. The camera. 2mp is a joke, especially from Apple. We're talking about the same company who made the iSight. And all they could come up with is a measly flash-less 2mp camera with no video?

2. The battery. I just realised once the battery life's gone under, you have to go through the same pain as per the iPods.

3. No radio, no recording. I'm still baffled at this I refuse to elaborate.

4. Cheap plastic back covers. This made me feel best about having the old one, because the steel back is durable and doesn't crack.

5. The lack of thought. Basically, they just updated the old phone to 3G, subsidise the low price with point 4 and call it a new phone. If Nokia were to pull the same shit off, people would die.

6. The price. Uhuh I said it. You can trick yourself into thinking 'but the ads say half the price double the speed', but after all the icing on top the phone costs 1k out right. That's bullshit.

7. The premium. It's a Jesus phone that ANYONE can get. This just reveals the greed Apple is striving for. I guess that's when branding comes in. They hope some of the Mac computers' exclusivity would rub off to the phone, but point 5 pisses all over it. Sadly, people are drinking the piss by the gallons.

8. Apps. Well it shouldn't be on the list because the application function is probably the only thing that no other phone company is in smelling distance. Yet the phone crashes if you install too many applications. I don't know. It's like walking into a buffet hall and been told that you can't eat more than 3 plates.

Again, the only reason the phones are selling is the brand. If you were told that a phone from Samsung or Nokia or Motorola consists of the same 8 points above, the phone makers would be cremated at this instant. I started this post with 3 points in mind and the more I write the angrier I get with Apple's decision to take the road to become Microsoft.

*D&AD pencils are like the Oscars of design and advertising(more advertising than design nowadays). Yellow being superbly outstanding and occasionally if the judges jerk off on the spot they award a black pencil. Apple has won 6 blacks over the past 10 years, 2 being the recent iMac and the previous version of iPhone.

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Farewell Satomi 2008.


This was her refusing to leave while I called the cops at 5am in the morning. Fine, I was calling the cab to take her to the airport.
Satomi left as abruptly as she arrived. It had been fun. Before she left we had a play on google streets to look up her workplace in Kanagawa.
Hope she is fine.

"Us Asians don't need injections."


I know, That sounded pretty racist from a dentist, but seriously, I never knew people get anesthetics when they get their teeth filled.
All my life I thought everyone else goes through the drilling and polishing and filling while they are conscious like I do.
And that tube that sucks stuff out of your mouth? Yea, they must've signed a deal with Dyson or something because it's freaking huge and my tongue got caught a couple of times. It sucked so hard that I didn't need to rinse at all.
Honestly I felt cheated. The only time in the dental room I feel like I'm getting my money's worth is when I get to rinse the shit out of the their water bill.
So I asked for a very long gargle and rinse towards the end.

Friday, August 15, 2008

Am I sadistic?


It's pretty sad when a grown man cries.
It's kinda worse when a grown man cries and shouts in the middle of the alley at 12am in the morning.
I just can't help it but open the balcony door during this freezing cold weather and eavesdrop while snickering to myself in the corner.
Basically Jeremy* is having an argument with his 'slut' girlfriend.
And he is now shouting 'I have my own mind! I don't need you!'
Well, the sobbing and tears called your bluff, dear.
Oh wait, now he's saying 'What? You run away you coward! You think running away can solve your problem? You bitch! Don't ever come back! I don't even love you you lying cheating bitch!'
It's really more convincing if you weren't crying, Jeremy.
Does that ring a bell of your old cozy apartment in IH, Parky?
Also, did I mention I just enjoy crying Singaporean men? All the army training has really toughen them up.

*Might not be his real name. I made it up to make the incident more entertaining. The accent is unmissable though.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Snail mail.


I wanted to blog about the Olympics but I'm short of time at the office so I'm just posting this book I ordered a month ago.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

CR aftermath.

I would tell you all the jokes I remembered, but I'm afraid of the 'ahgooligoogoo' effect of Eddie Murphy.
Ok fine. He did mention something like playing a sport without black people is like taking a college entrance exam without Asians. You're just cheating.
I had trouble focusing on the jokes because half of the time I was so star strucked.
It's different from your normal starstruck because normally you just go 'Wow is that him? let's ask him for an autograph. Yay!'
Sunday I was going 'Wow is that him? Oh shit I forgot to laugh. Hahahaha. Wow is that really him? Hahahaha!'
I'm sure he'll have a DVD out at some point and we can all download them. Then I can see some close up shots and angle change.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Alright!


Most anticipated Sunday night ever.
I hope it's good. But he did name the tour 'No Apologies' so it might be shit.

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

Tuesday Haiku.

The faster I pedal, the heavier the rain.

Water collecting in my cracks.


Crappy weatherman.

Yummay.


If you can read the fine prints, there's a list of top 10 pizza places in Melbourne. Although the Herald Sun's credibility is still debatable, I'm just making this easier to access by posting it.
Plus I think this layout actually looks cool.
Also, I pretty much like anything in orange.

Sunday, August 03, 2008

May the photo be with you.


These have GOT to be the best looking portraits of the biggest nerds in the universe.

The L/Q metrolite #1.


Every week I walk pass this bus stop at the corner of Lygon and Queensberry. I have decided to document this low traffic miniature billboard to counter the over glorified 'ads are cool' assumption in most people's head.
So first off: Coke.
Right. So the reason sales are unsatisfactory is that the damn bottles keep slipping of our hands. 'Look honey, they've now added ribs to the bottles, let's buy 10,000 of them! NOW! Come on! This is awesome!'
You gotta give it to the marketing department.

Friday, August 01, 2008

Buy.

So Tohm was saying to spot an Asian(particularly Singaporean) blog, you just need to count the pictures of random shit the blogger has bought.
I don't really read blogs, but I can imagine in the crooked mind of mine some random guy going 'OMG I bought this limited edition DS lite over the weekend damn sexy loh. Wah cannot believe it man..' with a shitty template and some blue corn flower colour.

But just to fit in, I shall talk about my new wallet.
It's exactly the same wallet as my previous one.
Man. Yerr. Walao. Wah. One. Siao.
There I'm an Asian.