Sunday, August 09, 2009

You have internet? I have internet too!

Perhaps because I was writing this essay regarding seduction, I've become more receptive to a few relationships that aren't working out.

One problem I could relate to, is how affection follows compatibility. For example, finding out that this person is into the exact same movies, music and books like you are. Suddenly, you see that person in a different light, and you think he or she is different. It's something special. It's love.

Your mind has performed an illegal operation and should be shut down.

That in essence, is no different than me falling for a girl who owns an Apple computer, because I use Apple computers. Or, the girl adores Calvin Klein jeans, I own a pair of Calvin Klein jeans! It's love! It is meant to be!

It is pretty shallow to assume that by sharing the same taste in music or movies will lead to a great relationship because just like fast moving consumer goods, our taste in music, movies, literature is also manufactured and mass produced for profit.

My advice next time is to ask: Oh? You like Wong Kar Wai too? Tell me, WHAT DO YOU LIKE ABOUT HIS WORK? That's actually the vital part in getting to know someone. Not what, but why. And if the answer is not too far away from yours, then maybe. Maybe that person is special.

I'm not trying to make relationship more difficult as it already is. I can hear you saying 'Look man! It's difficult enough to find someone with the same taste. You're saying now that it doesn't mean shit? You're just bitter you fat piece of shit!' Well, no. I'm just saying the attraction shouldn't come purely from movies, books and music. Or food even. It's good to have, it will lubricate the relationship if you do have it. But it's not vital.

Because it's not difficult to log on to music sites, and literature sites or imdb to find out the Top 100 Movies of all time and pretend to be a connoisseur, to show off.

Sometimes I think we're already drawn to that person, just that we are desperate to find a common ground , to make us believe that something special is going on. Honestly, if you were to strike a conversation with a taxi driver, and find out that he's into the same stuff as you are, would you think it's serendipity? Would you long for him to ask you out?

Next up: how to deal with the disappointment when things don't work out although you're into the same music, movies and books.