Monday, November 30, 2009

How do you advertise nothing?

I have a problem with the ANZ brand relaunch message. (I think it's way too late to comment on the new logo. I'm sure you could find tons of opinions simply by applying the magical google button.) When I was in Sydney I was pretty much bombarded by the giant billboards and metrolites as a pedestrian, even more so after returning to Melbourne. So what's wrong with the message you ask? Well, that's the thing, there isn't any.
I could pretty much sum up Commonwealth and NAB's recent relaunch by a sentence, putting the executions aside. (Determined to be different, climb every mountain, dare to dream etc.) But with ANZ's new look, I'm not sure what they're trying to say.
Let's break this shit down. So the message started with 'Life is complicated'. Yes, I agree. Oh I fucking hate life. And then 'so we're making life simpler'. Oh that sounds good. That sounds like what I need, less complication more simplification. How are you going to do that oh almighty big blue bank?
'We live in your world'.
Uh, what?
How can you living in my world, simplify my life? How is that making anything, simple?
That's like someone telling you 'Oh brother, the world is full of suffering. Oh brother my man, I'm going to make your misery go away, you got me brother? Oh yes brother. Now hear this: I shit in the same toilet bowl as you do, oh yea baby'.
You can't simply set up a problem, and not reveal a proper solution. How are you going to make banking simpler? How is your living in my world relevant at all? Is it the falcon? Is it the ATM army? What? What?? What???
We live in your world. Oh wow. All this while I thought all bank managers live in the 4th dimension. I guess that's very reassuring to know that they don't.