Wednesday, June 02, 2010

Black fat swan.

An excerpt from this book I've spend 10 minutes reading on the train and tram:

"Patients who spend fifteen minutes every day writing an account of their daily troubles feel indeed better about what has befallen them. You feel less guilty for not having avoided certain events; you feel less responsible for it. Things appear as if they were bound to happen.

If you work in a randomness-laden profession, you are likely to suffer burnout effects from that constant second-guessing of your past actions in terms of what played out subsequently. Keeping a diary is the least you can do in these circumstances."

I have a diary that I neglect on a constant basis. In fact, I think I only write in it when I'm bored or have suffered severe trauma. So in essence it's actually crash log. I never feel better or think events are unavoidable upon revisiting the entries. It sometimes made me feel ashamed of putting my own stupidity on paper, and some centuries later aliens will display it in their museum of dumb human behavior (MODHUB).

The diary will never prevent me from repeating the same mistake; it is a proof that I will keep repeating dumb mistakes for the rest of my life. The only comfort from the excerpt is that I will be more experienced in getting over the remorse of my wrong doings.

But will blogging about this makes my future mistakes any more excusable? Maybe this is why people blog. To excuse themselves from, well, themselves.