Wednesday, February 16, 2011

The perfect match.

So I walked into the apartment at 10.34pm yesterday, and the girlfriend asked what I was up to. I told her the agency is working on a pitch.
'What's a pitch?', she asked.
I explained to her:
Imagine a hot chick, I'm not talking about 'your best friend's cousin' hot, I'm talking 'Victoria's Secret model hot' hot.
Now, this chick is looking for a husband, and she knows she can get pretty much get any guy she wants. So she goes through her phone book and short lists the top 5 eligible man for an interview to screw marry her. The criteria of the interview: show me how much you love me.
You can pretty much imagine what happens next. The girl gets showered with diamonds, yachts, mansions, circus troops, her very own golden statue, and she will then filter her list to the final two. And the process repeats itself until the girl is happy. By the way, the losers will not get their gifts back.
'Isn't that kinda slutty and degrading?' she asked.
Oh but here's the thing. The winner normally over-promises so much, that by the time they get married, the girl will realize he didn't live up to her expectation. That or the guy, being a multi-billionaire, will feel bored with his wife and look for a mistress. If they're half decent, they'd get a proper divorce. But most of the time, they'd just sneak around each other's back or better yet join a swingers club where they switch partners.
'That's disgusting. Wouldn't it make more sense for her to save time and actively seek for the right man that suits her own character? In that process no one would get hurt.'
I lit up my invisible cigarette and told her, don't be silly now...

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

How about a can to remind you of how fat you are?


Pepsi
announced their new skinny can design for Mercedes fashion week. The press release reads 'In celebration of beautiful, confident women, Diet Pepsi presents the taller, sassier new Skinny Can at New York's Fall 2011 Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week, Feb. 10-17.'
Get it, ladies?
To be beautiful and confident, you need to be as skinny and tall as the new Pepsi can. To match your skinny jeans, your skinny chihuahua, while you drown in your skinny throw-up with your skinny self-esteem.

Wednesday, February 02, 2011

Plate up.



In case you haven't heard, Prince Winston and whatsherface are getting married.
Here's some cool memorabilia that would be awesome to have.