Friday, November 03, 2006

Exit from Matrix


Every thing's still here, just not in the same place anymore.

I realised, after going through my past photos, that having chicken pox last year might've been the happiest moment in my life.
Look, I was excused from school; excused from being the entertainment coordinator of something I didn't really want to be a part of; I got to watch DVD's all day; some girl was cooking for me everyday; I had a girlfriend (which at that moment was flirting with my best friend); people sent me flowers and get well cards; I wrote a poem; I finished 3 books; I ate to sleep to eat; I got to ponder on life and make fun of homeless people to kill time.

From then on, everything went crap.

From then on, my mind pretty much went through what I never knew existed: Abandonment, betrayal, confusion, denial, exhaustion, frustration, genocidal... (ok that wasn't true, I just wanted to see how far I can list this alphabetically.)
Although I did recover somehow, I still had to suffer the lost of friends, the lost of time, the lost of home, even the lost of weight.
Of course, you might say that life's fucking awesome after that: trip to Japan, award via London, job offer through Hong Kong.
But what you don't realise, is that during all that traveling, I was actually confirming the change of my life. Little by little.
I have no fucking clue how. But one thing for sure: I can never return to the same mentality during the chicken pox attack.
Hear me, one day if I do make a movie, chicken pox will be a major part of it. It'll be something like In the Mood for Love.