Monday, November 30, 2009

How do you advertise nothing?

I have a problem with the ANZ brand relaunch message. (I think it's way too late to comment on the new logo. I'm sure you could find tons of opinions simply by applying the magical google button.) When I was in Sydney I was pretty much bombarded by the giant billboards and metrolites as a pedestrian, even more so after returning to Melbourne. So what's wrong with the message you ask? Well, that's the thing, there isn't any.
I could pretty much sum up Commonwealth and NAB's recent relaunch by a sentence, putting the executions aside. (Determined to be different, climb every mountain, dare to dream etc.) But with ANZ's new look, I'm not sure what they're trying to say.
Let's break this shit down. So the message started with 'Life is complicated'. Yes, I agree. Oh I fucking hate life. And then 'so we're making life simpler'. Oh that sounds good. That sounds like what I need, less complication more simplification. How are you going to do that oh almighty big blue bank?
'We live in your world'.
Uh, what?
How can you living in my world, simplify my life? How is that making anything, simple?
That's like someone telling you 'Oh brother, the world is full of suffering. Oh brother my man, I'm going to make your misery go away, you got me brother? Oh yes brother. Now hear this: I shit in the same toilet bowl as you do, oh yea baby'.
You can't simply set up a problem, and not reveal a proper solution. How are you going to make banking simpler? How is your living in my world relevant at all? Is it the falcon? Is it the ATM army? What? What?? What???
We live in your world. Oh wow. All this while I thought all bank managers live in the 4th dimension. I guess that's very reassuring to know that they don't.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Introduction to Hollywood promo posters.



Wednesday, November 18, 2009

He also founded the most creative advertising network in the world.

"In Britain our art schools are, of course, under-funded. They therefore have to take on too many students from abroad with poor skills but rich parents who can afford the higher fees for overseas students, helping the schools' budgets but leaving talented, but impecunious, students without a look-in. ... The only memorable thing about art schools now is how forgettable the students' work invariably is. One has to marvel how much the spirit of confidence in our art schools has been sapped in just a few years. "

Not only in Britain, I'm afraid. And not only art schools, either. The book which I think will eventually mimic Paul Arden's trilogy, is now available in bookstores. (Suggestion for the sequel's title: My name is still Charles Saatchi, and I am still an Artoholic.)

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Advertising Orgy.

So this is what happened right, the client sat in the meeting room with his arms folded and told the agency, 'We want to position our brand as the country's favourite. We want to see happy people with our product. We want the commercial to be energetic, to show strength and unity. And most of all, we want the campaign to be HUGE.'

I remember reading a comment of some television advertising award jury this year that a lot of entries consisted of big crowds building something in the centre of the city, or heading towards somewhere, or dancing together, or singing together, marching etc., basically just big crowds doing 'something' together. I chuckled at first, but after that I couldn't help but notice how sadly true that statement was. But what do I know? I'm a jobless hobo. Don't take my word for it, look at these fantastic Australian ads I found on YouTube instead:

Here's one for candy:

Here's one for a car:

Beer, you can't leave out beer:

Ice tea:

Mobile phone:

Ice cream:

Beer again:

Even Tivo:

Makes you wonder if coming up with an idea for a television commercial in Australia is to simply say: 'We open with a man walking out of the door, joining a larger group...' Or is it simply agencies influencing agencies, ads influencing ads, directors influencing directors, or clients having too much money to spend on products without anything interesting to say...

Sunday, November 08, 2009


With the Japanese entertainment industry starting whoring out to the rest of Asia, it is not surprise that the next 'in' pop culture emerges from Korea, since we know shit all about Korea.
And perhaps it has something to do with me not understanding the language, Korean girls do have a sense of alluring mystery.
They always sound like they're ending every sentence with a question, but much more dignified compared to Taiwanese or Japanese.
They sound tough. And that's why I think they're the most difficult to pick up. Even when they sound like they don't have a clue, they still appear to be much more in control than you are.
Again, it's probably because I'm totally clueless with the language. But Korean sounds like a fun language to pick up.
You're forced to sound animated due to the lack of vowels and more emphasis on the B-, P-, Ch-, K-, S-. Not sure if you know what I mean.
I know, I know. I should stop stalking random girls on the street. I get it.

Saturday, November 07, 2009







Thursday, November 05, 2009

Anthem for flow-charters.

link via

Monday, November 02, 2009

Basic courtesy of admiring photography.

I don't know about the others who take photos, the most offensive comment I receive from time to time, is the sort that says 'Hey man, I like your photos. What camera do you use?'
That's the equivalent of saying 'Hey man, your girlfriend is hot. How much did you have to pay to score that ass?'
By doing that you imply that the photographer is useless without his awesome magic mirror. You think you can capture images of the same standard IF ONLY you have the same tool.
Even if it's true, next time try respecting the person behind the camera first.
It's not too difficult to apply some courtesy by asking 'Hey man, I like the picture with the snowman and the dog. I'm just wondering if you could spare me some tips to achieve the same effect?'
You'll receive the same answer. But it leaves a less shitty after taste for people to answer the latter question.