Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Dear Harvard

Dear Harvard,

My girlfriend just asked me if I'd still love her if she got raped in the future. How should I fucking react?

Truly yours,
Still hiding in the toilet.

Mr. Still hiding in the toilet,

It means she will or have already cheated on you. You see, once you say yes, it literally means 'I will love you no matter what happens, and that includes you fucking another man.' Even if she's not cheating and asking you a 'hypothetical' question, you're still committed in a no win situation. Whatever shit happens, she will say 'but you promised to love me even if I got raped! And this is not even anywhere near me getting raped!' See my point? Now you can get out of the cubicle and slap her in the face. Or you can get out of the cubicle, kiss her on the face, say 'YES', then slap her in the face. Remember the naked pictures you took of her? Finally it's coming in handy. Have a good one, mate.