Sunday, February 18, 2007

I guess it's not a Halal year

I don't feel a thing.
About not being at home for Chinese New Year.
People complain about being overseas for CNY. They miss the food, the atmosphere, the gathering, the gambling.
I can never relate to the complaints. I thought I was just being a dick since I was always home and never being 'leftover'.
But today, not a single dread crossed my mind for not being home. Of course, I did the normal routine, calling my dad while they're at the restaurant, his phone being passed on so that I could speak to everyone. And of course the relatives never stop teasing: Oh, we're eating good food here. What did you have for dinner? Go get together with some friends. Better yet, go get together with a girl, your parents will be happy.
I nod and smile back like a baby on drugs, but you know, deep inside, I really thought: Nope. I just don't feel a thing.
Truth is, my family's way of celebrating new year is never interesting. Yes, we have gatherings, we eat, we talk, we do the normal tai chi of praising of each other's sons and daughters.
And then we go home.

We never gamble. We never hit on our cousins. We don't play fire crackers. We have our dinner, and we go home and sleep.
I'm proud of not being sad. But I'm not sure why I'm proud of being an insensitive bastard. But Happy CNY to you anyway.